Sunday, May 17, 2009

Jesus, You have Carried Me

I can remember my Grandma Bilt (Mom's mom, Mary Vanderbilt who has gone to be with Jesus) often exclaiming, 'Mercy!'....I find myself exclaiming this myself more and more often these days. Sometimes it just seems like there is hardship all around: people getting sick with terrible diseases, families in trouble, people passing away, friends in financially dire straits, scary things happening in government...need I say more?
During these crazy times, it seems things get distilled down to their most basic... during the 'easy' times, I feel like I have some semblance of control over my life, that things are on the right track. I see now that this 'control' is only an illusion!! And during those good times, I'm sorry to say that I do not interact with Jesus as much. Often (sadly) He gets relegated to a spoke in the wheel of my life. When things are hard, I see the Truth that the only stability I have is the Lord; that to live life as I am purposed to live, He must be the center of the wheel. During the simpler times, I forget how much I need to rely on Him (hello, TOTALLY!!) ...and now, during this rougher patch, I'm seeing in a new way that I HAVE TO HAVE HIM...
I'm remembering the hymn we sang at our church when I was little: "Trust and obey, for there's no other way to be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey".
As we drove home from visiting w/friends and family today, this song came on and I was nearly undone. It's a song that has made me cry and yet comforted me many times, reminding me that I am not alone. Hope you like it.
And I say, 'Thank You, God, for these difficult days that show me Your Truth, and show me the way out of the death of serving myself.'