Sunday, November 16, 2008

Whine, whine, whine

Yes, I'd like a little whine with my cheese...

I am sick again for the third time in three weeks....three different illnesses. First it was a vertigo-type thingy. Then it was strep (on the tail end of amoxicillin for that!) and now I have this nasty cold...with a smoker's cough. (No, I do not smoke.) Nice. Tomorrow I will have to postpone my dentist appointment to fix my cracked tooth for the THIRD TIME! I am feeling so selfish and so mad and so worn out: sick and tired of being sick and tired. But wait...

What is the truth about this situation? Is God in control of this? Could He heal me if He thought that was best? Am I stuck here for a purpose? Do I need to be treating my body differently so I am not as susceptible to sickness? What about people who are chronically it possible to be content when faced with a barrage of sickness? I was pretty sick last year during this time, but I thought it was because I was teaching and my body was exposed to a lot of germs/viruses that I was not accustomed to. So what's the excuse this year? Do I need to be concerned about something I am not aware of?

Nearly our whole family has had something. Will we all be well to host Thanksgiving dinner like we are planning?

This situation is so inconsequential compared to so many...I think of my friend, Nancy, who is going through treatment for her second bout of breast cancer and whose house is in the path of the crazy fires that are scorching California right now. Or I think of our friends K & E who are in a very dangerous part of the world to tell people of Jesus' love. I need the perspective of these situations or I sink into pity-party-mode....and that's so ugly and isolating and non-productive and self-serving.

In my runny-nosed, hacking state, I am mistakenly thinking that the most important kind of healing is physical, but I know that God sees so much more than I do. And that His ideas of goodness and wholeness are beyond what I can understand. What are You working in me, Lord?

Lord, teach me the secrets of asking for what I desire, but allowing You to help me to be content no matter what Your answers are to what I pray. I know Your Grace is sufficient for me and that when I am weak, Your strength can be shown through me. I choose to trade my dis-ease for Your Peace. And I choose to think on You over thoughts of myself that threaten to consume my mind.

Exodus 15:26 He said, "If you listen carefully to the voice of the LORD your God and do what is right in his eyes, if you pay attention to his commands and keep all his decrees, I will not bring on you any of the diseases I brought on the Egyptians, for I am the LORD, who heals you."


Grandma Connie said...

Your comments are rich and your thoughts well expressed. My heart is encouraged and warmed. It is good to have visited your blog, Deb. Your remind me often that our great God is very loving toward us.

Brian said...

*DIS-EASE* the hyphen changes the meaning...but somehow it's still the same.